Lefty and the Korean
by Emerald Kitten
Summary: Merle Dixon is a hardened cop who doesn't play well with others, but what will happen when he is partnered with a young rookie fresh out of the academy? Hilarity will ensue, that's for damn sure! Who would of thought to team up these two like a cheesy 80's good cop/bad cop sitcom? Strictly AU, but many other characters will guest star. 'Fun with Idle Threats' spin-off.


Pilot S1:Ep1 Dixon Get's a Partner.

"Dixon! Get your lazy ass in my office now!" The booming voice of Captain Hershel Greene reverberated throughout the busy squad room.

Sgt Merle Dixon rose slowly from behind his desk, scraping the cheap county issued metal chair loudly back across the floor of the police station as he did so. The sound of the metal chair screeching against the grimy tile floor cut through the hubbub of the large room like nails dragging down a chalkboard.

"What's up his ass this time?" Merle grumbled under his breath as he walked across the squad room towards the office of the bellowing white-haired man howling for his blood.

Merle Dixon may have been a great many things; a screw-up, a redneck, a hothead. Hell, he even had an 'anger issue' according to the department shrink brought in two month ago to evaluate his state of mind. But Merle weren't a psycho, and he sure as shit he weren't no idiot. And only an idiot would get caught sassin' his commanding officer. After all, you didn't want a senior office to catch you being a smartass. Pulling shit like and getting caught doing it would send you busted down to foot patrol fast. Faster than a whore prayin' for forgiveness Sunday morning after workin' her way through an entire fleet of sailors on their first Saturday back in port.

Why Merle had ever chosen to become a cop was anyone's guess. After serving his stint in the army, the Dixon man could have easily fallen into his old ways and gone straight back to a life of crime. Merle had spent enough of his youth in trouble; it was almost expected he would graduate from harmless misdemeanours to become a hardened criminal. Hell, being a Dixon meant he was damn near guaranteed to become lowlife scum; it was in his blood. Historically speaking, Dixon men usually went into the line of work that led to law breaking, not law enforcement. But Merle Dixon had experienced his first taste of power while serving Uncle Sam, and be damned if he didn't get addicted to the rush that came along with apprehending an assailant. The power that came with the badge was better than any drug he had ever snorted, popped or shot up when he was a crazy-ass kid.

The paperwork that came with the badge was a bitch though. That was Merle's only complaint. Well…that and the fact that he worked with a bunch of pansy-ass momma's boys who didn't have the balls to carry the badge. He couldn't stand the other cops in the station. Weren't a great loss though; none of the pussy bastards gave Merle the time of day and that was how he liked it. He didn't have a partner and he didn't need one. As far as he was concerned, not one of the douchebags working at the station were man enough to be partnered with him.

"You wanted to see me Cap?" Merle asked, crossing his arms and casually leaning against the doorframe to the older man's office as he did so.

Hershel 'Doc' Greene was a well-respected Captain whose service record spoke for itself. The gentle looking man was a real pillar of the community. Tough but always fair. He had run the station for longer than anyone cared to remember. The man usually had a gentle nature, except when it came to dealing with one man in particular; Merle Dixon…the bane of his existence.

Something about Merle just got under Hershel's skin. The man may have had an impressive arrest record, but that didn't account for the fact that Captain Greene thought Merle was a horse's ass, plain and simple. Captain Green wasn't shy about hiding his dislike for the loudmouthed redneck. Luckily for Captain Greene, that was one thing that he and Merle shared; a general dislike of each other.

"Come in son and close the door." The elderly man barely glanced up from the file laying open on his desk in front of him as he motioned for Merle step further into room.

Merle grunted his displeasure at being called into the Captain's office as he closed the door behind him quietly. He had no idea why he was in here today. Thinking back, he hadn't done anything recently to warrant a reprimand. In fact, he'd been a good boy for the last week now. Hadn't been involved with any altercations with the other officers and his cases were all in order. Maybe Doc had just decided to fuck with him today. Wouldn't be the first time Merle got his ass chewed out for no particular reason.

_'Well if he's gonna fuck with me I'm gonna fuck with him,'_ Merle thought to himself.

Crossing the room in three large steps, he took a seat across from the Captain. Merle proceeded to place his feet heavily on the desk, kicking over the Captain's name plate as he crossed his ankles.

"What's up Doc?" Merle grinned arrogantly as he folded his hands behind his head and reclined, balancing the metal chair on the two hind legs as he leaned heavily back. Might as well make himself comfortable. From his extensive experience, these little chats with the Captain usually took a fair chuck of time. Shoulda thought to bring his coffee and doughnut in as well. This shit could take a while.

Now Merle didn't expect the Captain to take any of his shit; the older man never did. Still, it was always entertaining finding new ways to piss the old guy off. Made the day pass quicker.

Without missing a beat, Hershel deftly reached across the desk and quickly pushed the younger man's feet free of his ink blotter. The sudden action caught Merle by surprise; damn man was spritely for an old coot. Merle rocked precariously in his chair, struggling to regain his lost balance. Finally, after flailing 'round like a fish outta water, Merle's feet landed with a heavy thud on the floor, his chair following suit as it righted.

"What the hell was that?" Merle snarled at the Captain.

"I've spoken to you time and time again Dixon about doing that," Hershel sat at his desk with a smug smile plastered on his face. "Maybe now you'll think twice before doing whatever the hell you please on my desk."

_'Good thing he don't know 'bout that time last year when me and Betty-Sue got real friendly-like on his precious desk,'_ Dixon thought to himself. Doin' the previous receptionist on the Captain's desk had been a good way to stick it to the older man and his pain-in-the-ass ways. Well…maybe it wasn't_ just_ about stickin' it to the Captain with that one…

Shaking himself, Merle grinned at the memory of everything he'd done on the desk. By right's, that desk should have been chopped up and burnt. "Just makin' myself comfortable Doc."

"Your comfort is not of my concern at this point in time," Hershel said with exhaustion.

_'It'd be a first if it was,' _Merle thought to himself. He grunted instead of vocalising his thoughts; definitely didn't need to get a reprimand so early in the morning. "So why'd I get called in? I've been a good boy lately."

A bitter sounding chuckle escaped Hershel's lips. "You're a great many things Dixon, but I'd never use the words 'good boy' to describe you."

"This about Vasquez, ain't it?" Merle asked as he leaned forward in his chair, resting his elbows on his knees. "It's like I told ya last week Cap, I wasn't on the clock when we got into it. Now, if he ain't man enough to except that he lost a fight fair and square then that's on him. Ain't my fault the damn taco muncher can't hold his own."

"This ain't about Vasquez and you know it son," Hershel started with exasperation. The older man signed heavily as he shot an angry look across the desk at Merle. "Do you have any idea how negatively it reflects on me when my own men, two officers under my command, get hauled in for brawlin' at a bar? The officers that brought you in didn't even realize you were on the job."

"We was fightin' off the job. Ain't like we was dukin' it out in uniform."

"That's beside the point! You are a decorated officer and a war veteran. You should have more sense than to break the nose of a fellow officer just because he insulted you!"

"He started it Cap. I ain't lettin' one on those…" Merle trailed off as he caught the look Hershel was levelling at him. He raised his hands before his body in placating gesture as he back peddled, "I ain't lettin' _Vasquez_ or anyone else insult me or mine. It's his own damn fault for startin' shit he ain't able to finish. I just finished it is all."

"Finish it?" Hershel asked unbelievably. "You broke a beer across his head then knocked him out cold!"

"Yeah, and he dropped like a sack of shit after only one punch." Merle grinned to himself as he relived the memory. "Fuckin' pussy," he added under his breath.

"I know you Dixon," Hershel warned as he pointed an accusing finger at the man sitting across from him. "No way did Vasquez start it. You would have been running your damn fool mouth off…again I might add."

Merle huffed. "That prick threw the first punch. He fuckin' started it." Merle folded his arms across his chest and dropped back against the chair, sulking like a scolded child.

The two men eyed each other warily across the desk. Merle knew he'd been right to beat the shit outta that prick Vasquez off the clock. Just thinking about that asshole and all the shit he'd said made Merle's blood boil. After office hours, Merle was free to settle the score how he saw fit. No-one insulted Merle Dixon and got away with it.

Finally, Captain Greene spoke, breaking the tension in the room. "I didn't call you in about Vasquez. I've got a new partner for you," the Captain said as he waved a personnel file next to his face. "He's green; fresh outta the academy. But he's got good instincts and he's fast on his feet. I think he'll be a good match for you." Hershel tossed the file across the desk, watching as it landed in front of the other man.

Merle couldn't believe this shit. He worked alone. He didn't play well with others. Hell, the number he had done on Vasquez testified to that fact. Merle didn't need anyone he didn't trust lookin' out for him. And Merle didn't trust anyone, save his younger brother Daryl that was. Aside from Daryl, Merle hated everyone and everything. Ain't nobody lookin' out for ol' Merle in the line of duty 'cept Merle, and that was how he liked it.

"Ah, come on Cap. Ya know I work better alone," Merle grunted as he reluctantly picked up the file. He didn't open it though; he wouldn't give Hershel the satisfaction.

"Working better alone is completely different to having every partner you've been assigned in the last four years ask for a transfer out of this station. I'm not lettin' you talk your way out of this one Dixon. Your stunt with Vasquez was the last straw. You need someone to watch your back and keep your ass outta trouble. You're getting a partner whether you like it or not and that's final!"

Merle huffed his annoyance at the prospect. Every damn cop in this station knew that Merle Dixon worked alone. Always alone. And not just because he didn't play well with others; that was how the other cops preferred it too. Merle Dixon was a tough, angry son-of-a-bitch that didn't need anyone to help him out. He was a one-man band and that's how he did business.

Problem was, Captain's mind sure seemed made up. Doc Greene was a stubborn old bastard if nothing else. But just 'cause the Captain said Merle couldn't argue this new development didn't mean Merle couldn't do everything in his power to send this new partner high-tailin' for the hills as quick as can be.

"So what do I call this new guy anyway?" Merle asked.

Hershel grinned smugly, reclining back in his chair as he fixed a hard stare on the man sitting across from him. "His name's Rhee. Glenn Rhee."

**A/N: Thank you for checking this out. I have to admit, I have no intension of doing this, but thanks to the positive reviews, (in particular from VoodooInTheTARDIS and rabbitheartedgirl88) this idea started kicking around in my head and I couldn't stop it from growing. If any of you have checked out my other WIP 'Fun with Idle Threats' you may remember Daryl making a throw away line about Merle and Glenn growing as thick as thieves, and thus should have their own 80's sitcom 'Lefty and the Korean', hence the little ditty you just read. It will get funnier, I promise you that. A cast of your favorite characters will guest star each chapter. Hopefully you like where it goes. I do feel I need to apologize straight off the bat here though; everything I know about police proceedure has been learnt from watching Law & Order SVU and CI. I apologize if I get the details wrong or inconsistant. I'll try to make this as entertaining as possible without being too offensive. And I have to say, with what comes out of Merle's mouth it will probably get offensive. But don't worry, Glenn won't take Merle's shit for too long!**

**Hope you enjoy the ride!**


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